"I was married for 34 years, and unfortunately, he passed 5 years ago. He was an amazing husband, too. We married at 21. A lot happened around the time of his passing. We became empty nesters the year before he passed, and I retired shortly after. After all that, God gave me supernatural peace to slow down and take in life. I love being single. There isn’t anyone asking about dinner or asking what you want to do. I’m not sure I want to be married again, but I’m exploring the dating world."
- Starlett, Attendee
CTAS Digital Storytellers
This year we launched CTAS Digital Stories. In line with our mission to amplify singles voices, we will feature storytellers on our website, Instagram, and Facebook. Mirroring the work of our live show, Digital Storytellers will tell true, on theme, family friendly stories that discuss the highs, lows, sorrows, and benefits associated with the single life.
Abby T. - Finding Me - Q2 2024
Biography
Abby T. lives in NYC with her husband and children. She enjoys spending time with her family, traveling, and swimming in the ocean year-round. Abby works in Real Estate and loves helping people find their home.
Story
I decided to move back to Brooklyn. I had never lived on my own before, and it was great. It opened me up to financial independence, and it pushed me to make decisions for myself. This was an area I needed to grow in. I recall this one time I had a decision to make and I kept calling my mom and then my sister and back to my mom. I was frantic to get them on the phone as if I was incapable of making any decisions for myself without hashing every tiny detail over with them. It took me many years and an infinite amount of small and large decisions to develop my own intuition and wisdom to finally arrive at a place where I was capable of making major decisions completely on my own. I want to make clear that I value my friends and family’s wisdom and insight immensely and still glean from their words today. However, when called upon, I am able to make the decision between a spiced chai latte and a mocha all by myself!
Let’s go back for a moment. I originally moved to Brooklyn in 2005 and later decided to move back home in 2009. At the time, I thought moving back to Long Island was the worst thing ever. I felt like I was pausing the progress I had made. What I realize now is that it was a timely pivot. I moved back for a year almost to the date. In that time, I worked and spent time with my family and friends, whom I cherish. By the time the summer rolled around, I was ready to move back to Brooklyn, this time on my own. I remember getting a call about a one-bedroom that was available in a building I loved…I wanted it sight unseen and was fortunate enough to sign the lease. This move changed the course of my life.
At the time, I got approved for the apartment, I didn’t even have a job. But I had a fire inside me and was determined to not fail! I took every babysitting opportunity and odd job I could. I remember I would come home with the cash and put it in an envelope in the drawers of my nightstand. I didn’t spend anything until I had the rent money aside. It was empowering to see that I was both responsible and capable of taking care of myself. I enjoyed decorating my own apartment, entertaining my friends, and gardening. It was all my own space, and I loved every second of it.
After about a month in that Bedstuy apartment, my mom called and asked if I would take Twain, our family dog. I enthusiastically said yes. Having him as a companion was comforting, and I am so glad I was able to experience caring for him. After a few years of working in Brooklyn, I decided to go back to school and choose my course of study all by myself!
When I went back to school, I would come home in between classes, which was a forty-five-minute commute each way at best, to walk him and feed Twain before returning to school for my evening classes. It really prepared me for caring for my children, years later.
I lived in that apartment for 12 years: I went back to college. I came into my own. I was happy. I met my husband. I lost my mom. Months later, I had to say goodbye to Twain also. I had my first baby. I got pregnant with my second baby, all in that apartment. All of these things would’ve looked drastically different if I hadn’t left Long Island that summer and gone back to Brooklyn. Living on my own, experiencing struggle, and seeing that I could overcome hardships and achieve the goals I had set for my life. This story is part of who I am today. It was full of the best memories and some very heartbreaking ones as well. I would not change it at all, because it led me to the person I am today, just like the current chapter of my story will lead me to who I am tomorrow.
Let’s go back for a moment. I originally moved to Brooklyn in 2005 and later decided to move back home in 2009. At the time, I thought moving back to Long Island was the worst thing ever. I felt like I was pausing the progress I had made. What I realize now is that it was a timely pivot. I moved back for a year almost to the date. In that time, I worked and spent time with my family and friends, whom I cherish. By the time the summer rolled around, I was ready to move back to Brooklyn, this time on my own. I remember getting a call about a one-bedroom that was available in a building I loved…I wanted it sight unseen and was fortunate enough to sign the lease. This move changed the course of my life.
At the time, I got approved for the apartment, I didn’t even have a job. But I had a fire inside me and was determined to not fail! I took every babysitting opportunity and odd job I could. I remember I would come home with the cash and put it in an envelope in the drawers of my nightstand. I didn’t spend anything until I had the rent money aside. It was empowering to see that I was both responsible and capable of taking care of myself. I enjoyed decorating my own apartment, entertaining my friends, and gardening. It was all my own space, and I loved every second of it.
After about a month in that Bedstuy apartment, my mom called and asked if I would take Twain, our family dog. I enthusiastically said yes. Having him as a companion was comforting, and I am so glad I was able to experience caring for him. After a few years of working in Brooklyn, I decided to go back to school and choose my course of study all by myself!
When I went back to school, I would come home in between classes, which was a forty-five-minute commute each way at best, to walk him and feed Twain before returning to school for my evening classes. It really prepared me for caring for my children, years later.
I lived in that apartment for 12 years: I went back to college. I came into my own. I was happy. I met my husband. I lost my mom. Months later, I had to say goodbye to Twain also. I had my first baby. I got pregnant with my second baby, all in that apartment. All of these things would’ve looked drastically different if I hadn’t left Long Island that summer and gone back to Brooklyn. Living on my own, experiencing struggle, and seeing that I could overcome hardships and achieve the goals I had set for my life. This story is part of who I am today. It was full of the best memories and some very heartbreaking ones as well. I would not change it at all, because it led me to the person I am today, just like the current chapter of my story will lead me to who I am tomorrow.
Jasmine W. - Boundaries - Q1 2024
Biography
Jasmine is a 4th grate teacher at Cordova Optional Elementary School from Memphis, TN. She enjoys exploring nature and watching classic movies.
Story
I have a family member who is very controlling. Anytime I made a decision, she would guilt trip me into making the decision she wanted me to make. I felt owed her because when I was younger she helped my family out when we were in need.
Our relationship dynamic has always been one-sided. Around her, we ate her favorite foods, we talked about what she wanted to talk about, we did the things she wanted to do. My loyalty to her was unmatched. No matter what event or what she needed I was there. She was good at setting boundaries. But she left no space for me within our relationship.
I left Memphis when I was 21. Since leaving, I completed college, got married, lived in three different cities, and, then, divorced. God’s plan for my life would bring me back. I returned when I was 32 and knew my experience would be different because now I was grown. But my move was accompanied by other feelings: fear, anxiety, and overwhelm. I was accustomed to putting everyone before me. I wasn’t sure if I was interested in living that life again.
One day my car broke down, my engine blew out, right after a long day at work. I needed someone to pick me up, so I called my sister. She was at work. I called a friend. She didn’t answer. Then, I called my Godmother. She was the last one I called. She always said, “Call me if you need me”. She used to get upset at times when I didn’t. So I called. When she answered the phone I told her what happened. She deep sighed, then said, “I’m sleepy.” She ended up calling her husband, and they came and got me. I waited two hours for them to arrive. They live 15 minutes away from where I broke down. When they arrived, she looked at me, shook her head, and asked what I did to the car. I was calm on the outside but hurting on the inside. I called her because she told me to. Now, I need her and here she is blaming me.
When I was younger, I thought my Godmother and I shared a special bond. But moving back I noticed it was around her that my anxiety would flare. I don’t know if it was having time away or just being older and being more in touch with myself, but I knew that I didn’t want to live like this anymore. I pride myself on being selfless, but I no longer wanted to do this at my own expense. I felt like she kept treating me like I was the young girl I was before I left. But I’m not her anymore. I’m grown.
I’m still figuring out what my boundaries are with her and how to navigate the relationship. It’s been hard. I’ll establish a boundary, and she’ll cross it, repeatedly. I’ve decided that this is a relationship worth fighting for, so I’m going to keep at it. But boundaries must exist. They are an act of self-care and self-respect, and I’m learning to care for and respect myself.
Our relationship dynamic has always been one-sided. Around her, we ate her favorite foods, we talked about what she wanted to talk about, we did the things she wanted to do. My loyalty to her was unmatched. No matter what event or what she needed I was there. She was good at setting boundaries. But she left no space for me within our relationship.
I left Memphis when I was 21. Since leaving, I completed college, got married, lived in three different cities, and, then, divorced. God’s plan for my life would bring me back. I returned when I was 32 and knew my experience would be different because now I was grown. But my move was accompanied by other feelings: fear, anxiety, and overwhelm. I was accustomed to putting everyone before me. I wasn’t sure if I was interested in living that life again.
One day my car broke down, my engine blew out, right after a long day at work. I needed someone to pick me up, so I called my sister. She was at work. I called a friend. She didn’t answer. Then, I called my Godmother. She was the last one I called. She always said, “Call me if you need me”. She used to get upset at times when I didn’t. So I called. When she answered the phone I told her what happened. She deep sighed, then said, “I’m sleepy.” She ended up calling her husband, and they came and got me. I waited two hours for them to arrive. They live 15 minutes away from where I broke down. When they arrived, she looked at me, shook her head, and asked what I did to the car. I was calm on the outside but hurting on the inside. I called her because she told me to. Now, I need her and here she is blaming me.
When I was younger, I thought my Godmother and I shared a special bond. But moving back I noticed it was around her that my anxiety would flare. I don’t know if it was having time away or just being older and being more in touch with myself, but I knew that I didn’t want to live like this anymore. I pride myself on being selfless, but I no longer wanted to do this at my own expense. I felt like she kept treating me like I was the young girl I was before I left. But I’m not her anymore. I’m grown.
I’m still figuring out what my boundaries are with her and how to navigate the relationship. It’s been hard. I’ll establish a boundary, and she’ll cross it, repeatedly. I’ve decided that this is a relationship worth fighting for, so I’m going to keep at it. But boundaries must exist. They are an act of self-care and self-respect, and I’m learning to care for and respect myself.